Change For A Nickel

The Bears won again this Sunday no thanks to Rex (eyebrow wax job) Grossman. I was in Paris for Thanksgiving and had a great time even though I got the “stomach flu” for a day. I’m quite angry with my friend Carrie. She and I flew out standby and got business class. It was like another world. Who could imagine intercontinental flying could be nice? I think we even had champagne before take-off? And wine throughout the flight. Did I have salmon?? Holy crap! I found myself peaking back behind the curtain to see what the peasants were doing. Poor bastards cramped in coach. It was enough to make me… get another glass of wine and nibble on my hors d’oeuvre tray of prosciutto and cheeses!

But alas the flight back was coach all the way. It wasn’t so bad because I actually got a pretty good seat by the exit and forward bulkhead. Lots of legroom. However I was stuck sitting next to this short antsy guy who was all of 105lbs soaking wet but who was moving around in that seat like he was 250lbs! I wanted to smack him! He must have gotten up a dozen times to pull crap out of the overhead storage. Carrie, you should have never given me a taste of that kind of luxury. Now I will always know what I’m missing every time I fly international. I will be forced to cram in the ass end of the plane sitting next to that obese guy or that couple with the toddler that steps on my toe or my personal favorite, the family that smelled of BO on my first trip to Paris. Yeah, fun times.