Change For A Nickel

Oh my people, what can I say. How about….
FUCK YEAH!
The American people have spoken and they said, “Kick the bums out!” As you can imagine, last night was better than Christmas for me. I finally got a gift I can use! That lump of coal I got two years ago really hurt. Especially when Santa hit me in the eye with it! But this definitely begins to make up for that. There are still undecided races that will determine which way the Senate will go but regardless of who wins in those last two Republican strongholds it means one thing. Darth Cheney will be very busy on the Senate floor the next couple of years. He better stock up on that Plavix!

I am a bit disappointed that cutie Harold Ford Jr. from Tennessee didn’t win. It’s only 140 years after reconstruction. Guess the South still ain’t ready. That’s why I stay up North. And the biggest thorn in my side is that Lieberman (I or R?) got his seat back (with a majority of Republican votes no less). Can someone go to his office and put a whoopee cushion in his chair for me? Never mind. He’s already full of shit. I guess Connecticut enjoys that smell.

The only thing that could top this Christmas gift is an even better Birthday present. And you all know what I’ve been hoping and praying for over the past three years. I want you all to help me get my birthday gift. Just do like you always do. Before you go to bed, get on your knees by your bedside. Fold your hands together and look up to Jesus and say, “Jesus, please bless Mama and Papa and Grandma and Grandpa. Oh and Jesus one more thing. I know it’s a big thing to ask, but if it is within your power could you please have Congress Impeach President Bush and Dick Cheney? AMEN!”