Change For A Nickel

Dear Abby,

Let me start off by saying that I like my job and the team I work with. I’m a consultant at another company and my office is in one of their buildings. Well, it’s not really an office. It’s a drab cubicle circa 1970. Oh, and I’m off the main thoroughfare. So about 1/2 the people in the building go past my cube in a day. That’s a lot of foot traffic! I actually like working there because I’ve been a contractor at other companies and they let you know you are a second class citizen every day! Ya’ll Razr holders should know who I’m talkin’ about. Anyway, I have been experiencing a most disturbing problem. Folks have been stealing from me!!

Mind you, I don’t keep a lot of crazy stuff in my cubicle. It’s all basic stuff. Well, except for the picture of North Korea’s Kim Jong Ill being shot off into space and jet fumes at his feet. The caption reads “Rocket Man”. I get a chuckle out of that every time I see it. But let’s get back to the problem at hand. Within the past few weeks I have had my air freshener stolen, my mouse pad, my highlighters (that one really pissed me off!!) and just yesterday my calculator! I put up a sign that says ‘Stealing is against company policy’ but it doesn’t seem to be working. I don’t want to lock up everything! I hate thieves (unless it’s pirate software, that’s different ). What can I do about these low life Mo-fo’s who are treating my cubicle like a free market office stand before I lose it and go postal?!

In Need of a Billy Club in Niles