Change For A Nickel

It’s about a week after Labor Day and the seasonal changes are happening right on queue as they have done for my entire 40 years. I could be kept in a room with no windows or doors and I would always be able to tell what time of year it is by one simple factor. My nose! As soon as I feel it get stuffy and my eyes start to puff and water that means one thing. It’s hay fever season! It does not matter if the summer is mild or if there was a drought. To my recollection it has had NO effect on my personal suffering. The intensity of my seasonal misery remains constant. I doubt if even the specter of global warming will have any effect. But if some scientist gave a report that stated one of the side effects of global warming would be reduced allergens then I would stop recycling and drive my car more often just for a modicum of relief!

I’ve tried all manner of over the counter and prescription drugs. They all work for a moment but after a while I might as well have a prescription for candy! Last year I was squirting some over the counter stuff up my nose that worked but I found I had to squirt more frequently than was prescribed on the bottle. After three weeks of shooting this stuff up my nose I decided to read the warnings. Found out I shouldn’t use it for more than three days and that it worsens the symptoms and may be addictive! So I had to throw away the case I had just bought. No, just kidding! But it does show that the cure can be worse than the illness! After many years of this I have found that the only thing that matters is getting a good nights sleep. A shot of vodka at bedtime usually does the trick!